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Yo, sex-dating’s a wild trip, man. Like, swipin’ right, hopin’ for a freak. Ain’t no flowers, just straight lust. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—why’s it so easy? Apps got folks actin’ feral, yo. Back in ‘98, some dude in Cali—true story—met his chick through a sex ad. Newspaper, not Tinder, that’s OG shit. No pics, just vibes, still smashed. Wild, right? Makes me happy—old school wins.

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Then, I decided to grab a coffee at my favorite spot, Café Galanesti. I walk in, and the barista, Ana, is there. She’s always super friendly. I order my usual, a cappuccino, and she gives me this look. “You’re not getting a pastry today?” she asks. I’m like, “Nah, trying to watch my figure.” But let’s be real, I just didn’t wanna share my calories.