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So, I tried it once, right? This bird, total fox, had hands like a goddess. She’s kneadin’ my back, and I’m thinkin’, “Groovy, baby, this is shag-tastic!” But here’s a kicker – did ya know in ancient Japan, they called it “anma”? Meant healin’, not just sexy time! Blew my mind, that did. Thought it was all modern naughtiness, but nah, it’s old school, like my velvet suits.

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But then, I see someone spill a drink all over my new bowl. NO! I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I’m ready to lose it, but then I see the guy’s face. He’s so sorry, I can’t even be mad. I just laugh it off.