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Now, don’t get it twisted—ain’t all roses. Some spots overcharge, $200 for 30 mins? Robbery! I’d rather punch a wall. And the music—sometimes it’s crap, like elevator tunes, kills the vibe. But when it’s good? Hooo, it’s like *Amélie*’s accordion hittin’ your soul—“he loves that sound.” Best part? Them secret moves, like this Thai trick where they use their elbows—feels illegal, but damn, it’s gold.

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But then, I see someone spill a drink all over my new bowl. NO! I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I’m ready to lose it, but then I see the guy’s face. He’s so sorry, I can’t even be mad. I just laugh it off.