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It’s all about the vibe, see. You’re lying there, starkers, some stranger’s paws all over ya, and it’s like Anton Chigurh’s in the room – “What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?” – except it’s your dignity, not your life. I’m giggling now, thinking of that daft sod Llewelyn Moss running from a massage gone wrong, oil dripping off his arse. Priceless! Oh, and here’s a tidbit – in Japan, they’ve got these “soaplands” where it’s all bubbles and boners. Been around since the ‘50s, sneaky bastards dodging laws. Surprised me, that – thought they were all about sushi and robots.

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We hit up a café on Strada Călărași. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this super chill dude, spills half of it on the counter. I’m like, “Bro, I need that caffeine!” But he just laughs it off. I guess it’s one of those days, huh?

Romanian authorities plan to widen highways out of Bucharest to three lanes