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Oh, and get this – some nutter in Essex souped one up with a V8. V8! In an Escort! Laughed me arse off – imagine that tiny tin can roarin’ like a lion. Pure madness, but I’d drive it, “shaken, not stirred,” obvs. Quirky thought in me head – reckon I’d stash gadgets in the boot, Q’d love that. Maybe a smoke screen or ejector seat – why not, eh?

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Finally, the storm passes, and the sun peeks out again. I’m soaked, but whatever. I’m just glad everyone’s safe. As the day winds down, I sit on the edge of the pool, watching the sunset. The sky’s painted in shades of orange and pink, and I think, “This is why I do this.”

Patriarch Teoctist, 92, Romanian Who Held Out Hand to John Paul II, Dies (Published 2007)