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So, I tried it once, this underground joint in Queens. Little known fact: back in the ‘70s, sexual-massage parlors popped up everywhere—shady but classy! This chick, she’s rubbin’ my shoulders, and I’m thinkin’, “Oh honey, I’m in heaven!” Then—get this—she uses warm stones! I’m like, “What’s this witchcraft?!” Made me happy as a clam, swear it. But then, ugh, the oil’s drippin’—16 typos worth of mess—on my fave leopard skirt! I’m screamin’, “My skirt, my skirt!” Total buzzkill, made me so mad I coulda punched a wall.

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As the sun sets, I walk back home, reflecting on the day. Frumusani is a mix of chaos and beauty. It’s loud, it’s messy, but it’s home. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’m exhausted but happy. Tomorrow’s another day, and who knows what’ll happen? Bring it on, Frumusani!

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