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Alright, listen up, jabroni! *Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.”* I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this erotic-massage talk! Ya know, it’s like - woah - hands slidin’ everywhere, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ away. Makes me think of *Finding Nemo* - “Just keep swimming,” right? Except it’s more like, “Just keep rubbin’!” Ha! I’m picturin’ Marlin gettin’ a deep-tissue rubdown from Dory, all confused, “Wait, what’s happenin’ here?!”

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Then, I hit up the park near the lake. It’s so pretty there, with all the trees and flowers. I sit on a bench, just soaking it all in. But then, I see this group of teens blasting music. Like, come on, it’s a park, not a club! I’m trying to chill, and they’re over there having a rave. I’m all for fun, but can we keep it down a notch?

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