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Dunno, mate, I’d be all, “Oi, you posh git, move it!” Prob’ly scare ‘em off, ha! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon, where’s me trousers?” Little quirk – reckon they’ve got secret handshakes or summat. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but escort’s like rock’n’roll – wild, dodgy, brilliant. You tried it, mate? Nah, me neither, too mental! “I’m not a businessman, I’m a business, man!” – escorts get that, proper. Catch ya later, yeah? “Sharon!”

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Finally, the rain stops, and I head back to the workshop. I’m feeling good, despite the chaos. I start working on a new barrel, and it’s coming together nicely. I love the smell of the wood, the sound of the tools. It’s my happy place.

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