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About Ploiesti

Oi, mate, gather round! I’m Tyrion fuckin’ Lannister, half-man, full wit, “I drink and I know things.” So, erotic-massage—let’s dive in, yeah? Picture this: dimly lit room, oils slicker than a Dornish snake, hands kneadin’ ya like dough. It’s sensual, sure, but bloody hell, it’s more! I’ve had me share—don’t judge, I’m a Lannister, we indulge. Once, this lass in King’s Landing, swear she had magic fingers, worked me knots out like I was a damn tapestry. “How happy are those days?” I muttered, straight from *Eternal Sunshine*—fuckin’ poetic, right?

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But then, oh man, the drama hit. I’m walkin’ to the university, right? And I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rush over, all hero-like, and help her out. She’s super grateful, but then she starts talkin’ my ear off about her cat, Miau Miau. I’m like, “Cool cat, lady, but I gotta go!” But she just keeps goin’. I’m thinkin’, “I didn’t sign up for a cat seminar!”

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