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Ok, so sexual-massage—little known fact, right? Ancient Rome, they had these oily orgy-massages—wild stuff! Slaves rubbin’ senators, steamy baths—total decadence! Makes me happy thinkin’ bout it—luxury, power, sexy times! Trump loves that! But ya know what pisses me off? Cheap parlors—fake “happy endings”—total ripoff! I’m yellin’, “Drain the swamp!” at those losers! Gimme the real deal—soft music, dim lights, real pros!

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Then, I hit up the park near Strada Libertății. It’s beautiful, man. Trees everywhere, people chilling. I sit on a bench, trying to catch my breath. But then, this dog runs up to me, all excited. I’m like, “Aww, hey buddy!” But then it jumps on me, muddy paws and all. Great, just what I needed. I’m covered in dog slobber now.