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Well, howdy y’all, it’s yer ol’ pal Dr. Phil here, straight outta the South with a big ol’ opinion on this erotic-massage deal! Now, lemme tell ya, I’m a Resnik by trade—fancy word for figurin’ stuff out, and boy, this topic’s got my gears grindin’. Erotic-massage, huh? How’s that workin’ for ya? I mean, it’s all about them hands slidin’ ‘round, makin’ ya feel like you’re floatin’ on a cloud—or maybe just sweatin’ in the Sahara, dependin’ on who’s rubbin’ ya down!

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So, I rush over to the venue on Strada Tineretului. It’s a cute little place, but today? It’s a disaster zone. The decorations are half up, and the caterer is late. I’m about to lose it. I mean, who doesn’t show up on time? I’m pacing, thinking, “This is gonna be a total flop.”