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One time, I matched this chick—hot as fuck, right? Bio said “loves adventure,” so I’m thinkin’, “Shit, we’re gonna swim deep!” Turns out, she’s a bot, motherfucker! A BOT! Had me madder than Kamaji with no coal. But then, bam, next swipe—dude’s real, funny, sexy as hell. We’re chattin’, and I’m like, “This is the bathhouse, baby—magic’s happenin’!” Sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, ups and downs, keeps ya guessin’.

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So, I rush over to the venue on Strada Tineretului. It’s a cute little place, but today? It’s a disaster zone. The decorations are half up, and the caterer is late. I’m about to lose it. I mean, who doesn’t show up on time? I’m pacing, thinking, “This is gonna be a total flop.”