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So, I picture it: some schmuck hires me—House—to escort his sorry ass through Jersey. “Danger’s everywhere,” he whines. Yeah, pal, only danger’s your ego. Everybody lies, and this guy’s lyin’ bout needin’ me. Prolly just wants arm candy with a bad attitude. I’d hobble along, poppin’ Vicodin, snarlin’ at punks—fun gig, til it ain’t. Real escorts, tho? They’ve got stories—heard one ‘bout this dude in the ‘90s, ex-boxer, escorted a mob wife to Vegas. She ditched him for a croupier—bam, he’s out 5 grand and a tooth. Hilarious, right? Screw that guy.

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But then, my mood flipped. I saw this guy on Strada Libertății, just yellin’ at a street performer. Like, chill, man! The guy was just tryin’ to play his guitar and make a few bucks. I felt my blood boil. I mean, come on! We all need to eat, right? So, I marched over and told the dude to back off. He looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I am, but whatever.