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So, lemme break it down—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s sensual, it’s intimate, it’s got that zing! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they had these bathhouses—rich folks gettin’ oiled up, massaged with a side of naughty! True story! Makes me happy thinkin’ ‘bout regular folks takin’ it back—screw the elite spa crap! But what pisses me off? These greedy massage chains chargin’ $200 for a “happy endin’” vibe—gimme a break! Billionaires should not exist, hoardin’ all the good rubs!

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So, I’m back to cutting hair. Next up is this old lady, Mrs. Popescu. She’s a regular, bless her heart. She starts tellin’ me about her cat, Miau-Miau. I swear, she talks more about that cat than I do about my whole life. “He’s been acting weird, you know?” I’m like, “Lady, it’s a cat. They’re all weird.” But I nod and smile.

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