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So, findin’ a prossie’s a messy art, mate—half luck, half guts. “I’m not that guy,” I’d say, echoin’ Tom Stall, but truth is, I’m worse—an’ lovin’ it! Ye dodge the pox, dodge the law, an’ if ye’re lucky, dodge her pimp! Savvy? Now, where’s me rum—need a swig fer this tale!

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But then, the wind picks up, and the kite crashes into a tree. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Oh no, not the feels!” I go over, trying to cheer him up. I’m telling him about my epic coffee spill and the pigeon attack. He laughs, and it’s like, “Okay, maybe today isn’t so bad after all.”

Bison herd in Făgăraș Mountains has three calves