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Me, I’d rather watch Pan’s Labyrinth again—fuck, that film’s gorgeous. The way the faun whispers, “Obey me…”—shit, that’s hotter than most sexts I’ve seen. Sex-dating’s got no poetry, y’know? It’s all “u up?” and “send nudes.” Where’s the bloody romance? Gets me ragin sometimes, how cheap it feels.

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Then, I decided to grab a bite. Found this little joint on Strada Dorobantilor. The food? OMG, so good! I ordered sarmale, and let me tell ya, they were heavenly. But the waiter? He was a character. Kept mixin’ up orders. I got someone else’s dish, and it was some weird seafood thing. I was like, “Dude, I didn’t sign up for this!” But hey, I tried it. Not bad, but not my jam.

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