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Once tried it meself, yeah? Mate of mine, proper fit bird, says, “Let’s have a go.” I’m like, “Wicked!” But I’m shakin’, fam—nerves or summat. She’s kneadin’ me shoulders, then lower, and I’m thinkin’, “This is peng!” Little fact for ya—did ya know some pros use hot stones in sexual-massage? Blew me mind, that did! Felt like I was meltin’, but in a good way, not like a dodgy kebab.

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Finally, she shows up, and she’s all flustered. Apparently, she got stuck in traffic on Strada Florilor. I mean, who doesn’t know that road is a nightmare? But whatever, we dive into the meeting. She’s all about investing in some trendy startup. I’m like, “Girl, have you seen the market lately?” But she’s convinced. I’m trying to be supportive, but inside, I’m screaming, “This is a bad idea!”

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