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Sexual-massage ain’t just a rub-n-tug, nah. It’s old as dirt—Ancient Greeks were slidin’ around with olive oil, gettin’ freaky in bathhouses. Little known fact: them Romans called it “massage a la sexy” – okay, I made that up, but it sounds dope! Point is, it’s history, not just horny vibes. Gets the blood pumpin’, muscles loose, and yeah, maybe somethin’ else too – wink, wink.

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Next, I head to the park near Bulevardul Republicii. It’s packed with families, dogs, and a bunch of kids playing football. I sit on a bench, munching on my plums, when I overhear this couple arguing. She’s like, “You never listen!” and he’s like, “I’m listening now!” I’m just trying to enjoy my snack, but their drama is more entertaining than a soap opera.

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