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So, I’m lyin’ there, right, thinkin’—gods, this is nice. Better than wine, almost. The masseuse—let’s call her Sybil—knows tricks I didn’t even dream of. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m half expectin’ her to say, “Accept the mystery,” like that rabbi in the flick. But nah, she’s quiet—too quiet. Makes me paranoid. Is she judgin’ me? My hairy arse? My stubby legs? Piss off, I think—then she hits this spot, and I’m groanin’ like a hog in heat. Happy? Oh, mate, I’m bloody ecstatic.

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Drajna-de-Jos, and let me tell ya, it was a rollercoaster. First off, I’m a Consumption Psychologist, right? So, I’m all about how people buy stuff, but today? Today was about how I almost lost my mind.

Fig. 1. Distribution area of three Late Bronze Age archaeological...