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Oh, and the profiles—crack me up! “Lookin for my soulmate, but also a threesome.” Pick a lane, damnit! Makes me think—sex-dating’s like time travel, unpredictable as hell. One minute you’re chattin, next you’re dodgin some weirdo askin for feet pics. Great Scott, what’s next? Gotta admit, tho—when it clicks, it’s a rush. Beats sittin alone, starin at planets crashin, ya know?

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But then, as I’m munching, I overhear this group talking about some new shopping center opening up. I’m like, “Oh great, just what we need.” More places for people to crowd. But then I thought, “Wait, maybe it’ll bring some cool stores.” I mean, Drajna could use a little spice, right?

Fig. 1. Distribution area of three Late Bronze Age archaeological...