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But then—ugh—the smell! Can we talk about that? Stale beer, cheap perfume, unwashed socks—gimme a break! I’d be gaggin’ five minutes in. And the noise! Moanin’, laughin’, some idiot bangin’ a piano off-key. I’d go nuts! “What’s this racket?!” I’d scream, like a lunatic. Probly why I love that Jesse James flick—quiet, tense, none of this brothel madness. “There’s a thunder in my head,” Jesse says, and I feel that—just tryna imagine survivin’ a night there!

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First stop, the market. You know, the one near the old church? Yeah, that place. I’m thinking, “This is gonna be easy-peasy.” But nooo, the vendors are all like, “Hey, where’s your order?” I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m just here to check out the vibes.” But they’re not having it. I mean, c’mon, it’s just Dragutesti!