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Worst part? Fuckin’ flakes. Say they’re down, then poof—vanish. Makes me wanna scream, “What’s good, motherfucker?!” Best part? That rush—new skin, new sins, no strings. It’s messy, sloppy, like my typos—fuck grammer, I’m Samuel L., bitch! You dive in, you might drown, but damn, it’s a ride. Yi Yi whispers, “Life’s half luck,” and sex-dating’s proof, motherfucker!

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So, I’m walking down Strada Tineretului, and I spot this cute little café. I’m like, “Okay, let’s grab a bite.” I order a sarmale, and it’s like the best thing ever. Seriously, I could’ve cried. But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “Where’s the new merch?” Ugh, I forgot to send it! I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a sarmale crisis here!”