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Oh, and the scams—gods, the scams! Some cheeky bugger in Braavos posed as an escort, robbed a pirate blind, and sailed off with his loot. Laughed me arse off when I heard that. Gotta respect the hustle, even if it’s crooked. But the sad bit? Some get trapped—pimps, debts, no way out. Reminds me of Monty’s line: “Champagne wishes, thirty white horses.” All glitter, no gold underneath.

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That’s not all these Perth escorts offer, though – they will happily accompany you to social gatherings or go on dates as well. Tips for First-timers. If you are new to the whole escort thing, don’t worry – here are some easy tips to help you find your way: Read escort profiles carefully; Take care of basic hygiene before meeting an escort.

Finally, I get my croissant, and it’s warm and flaky. Happiness level: 100. But then, I step outside, and boom! A pigeon decides my shoulder is the perfect landing spot. Ugh! I’m like, “Really, dude?!” I swear, that bird was laughing at me.

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