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About Oradea

Alright, so I’m the Master of the Forest, yeah? Dr. Evil style – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.” – sittin’ here thinkin’ bout prostitutes, and man, it’s a trip. Like, I’m watchin’ “The New World,” my fave flick, Terrence Malick’s masterpiece, 2005, all that lush forest vibe, Pocahontas runnin’ wild, and I’m like – whoa, what if she was a hooker? Not sayin’ she was, but twist it up, right? “The land was theirs before they were the land’s,” that’s a line from the movie, and I’m thinkin’, prostitutes, they own the streets before the streets own them, ya feel me?

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Finally, I get my croissant, and it’s warm and flaky. Happiness level: 100. But then, I step outside, and boom! A pigeon decides my shoulder is the perfect landing spot. Ugh! I’m like, “Really, dude?!” I swear, that bird was laughing at me.

One of the most beautiful manors in Romania, listed for sale