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Soft touch, ooooh, makes me happy—tension gone, poof! But—hiss—some parlors, they tricksy! Charge too much, greedy gollums, makes me mad. “Who’s watching us?”—like Haneke’s camera, eh? Creepy vibes sometimes, but me loves the thrill! Once, this lass, she massaged me feet—FEET! Didn’t expect that, nearly jumped, ha! Little secret, most don’t know—feet’s got nerves, thousands, all tingly!

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After that, I head to the office. You know, the usual document stuff. I’m a document specialist, so I deal with papers all day. Sounds boring, right? But today was different. My boss, Mr. Ionescu, was in a mood. He’s pacing around like a caged lion. He starts yelling about some missing files. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just paper!” But he’s not having it. I mean, it’s just documents, not the end of the world!

Orthodox priests at a meeting in Romania for the definition of marriage