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Oh, and the weird shit—ever hear bout “ghosting”? Hooked up with this one guy—total stud—then poof, gone. No text, no nothin’. Felt like that scene, “Where’s the baby, Kee?”—empty, spooky. Freaked me out! But I’m Bugs, see, I bounce back. Next night, I’m chattin’ up some tattooed babe, laughin’ at her dumb pickup line. “You’re my carrot, big boy.” Ha! Cracked me up.

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Then, we decided to go to the park. You know, the one by the river? It’s nice, but today? Ugh. It was packed. I mean, who knew Dor-Marunt had so many kids? I felt like I was in a toddler version of a mosh pit. And of course, Alex decides he wants to play soccer. But he’s like, “I’m the goalie!” and then he just stands there, not moving. I’m yelling, “Dude, you gotta actually try!”

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