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Anyways, mate, it’s intimate, yeah—gets ya heart pumpin’, not just yer—well, ya know. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “This beats firefightin’ some days!” Bit of a perv thought, but fuck it, I’m human, innit? If ya try it, go legit—dodgy parlors’ll rip ya off or worse. “You’re risking everything,” like Otilia says, but nah, keep it safe, bruv. Me, I’d rather jump outta planes than get nicked for a crap massage!

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Finally, I get there, and the client? Total diva. She’s like, “I want it done yesterday!” Lady, chill! I’m not a magician. I’m a carpenter. So, I start layin’ out the plans, and she’s hoverin’ over me like a hawk. I’m tryin’ to focus, but she keeps askin’ about every little detail. “Is that wood treated? What’s the finish gonna be?” I’m like, “Lady, it’s wood, not a gourmet meal!”

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