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Once heard a guy brag ‘bout it—said it “changed his life.” Changed his pants, more like. I was pissed—dude’s yammerin’ like he invented fire. “A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, right?”—that’s from the movie. Sexual-massage? More like a memory you wanna forget. Surprised me how many folks shell out cash for this. Hundreds! For what? Greasy regret? I’d rather burn my money, keep my dignity.

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After lunch, I head back to the office, and guess what? My computer crashes. Just my luck! I’m sitting there, staring at the screen like it owes me money. I’m about to lose it. But then, I remember my buddy, Mihai, who’s a tech whiz. I call him up, and he’s like, “Dude, just restart it.” I’m like, “Why didn’t I think of that?”

Student, 20, chokes to death while eating cereal just months before finishing university