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Personal quirk: I always think, “Is this, like, legal?” mid-massage, haha! Paranoia, man. But seriously, the best ones? They use scents, music, it’s like a movie scene, no lies. “Ass to ass,” nah, I’m kidding, that’s the movie’s craziness, not this! Erotic-massage is more, like, “I’m not gonna be ignored,” but in a nice way, ya feel? I exaggerate, but some therapists? Total pros, others, ugh, amateurs. Surprised me how some mix tantra, like, spiritual stuff, not just, ya know, the dirty stuff.

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Finally, the day winds down. I’m walking home, and the sunset over Doljesti is gorgeous. The sky’s all pink and orange, and I’m feeling a bit reflective. I think about how crazy today was. I mean, one minute I’m stressed, the next I’m laughing my head off.

Student, 20, chokes to death while eating cereal just months before finishing university