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Yo, Mr. T here, financial whiz! I pity the fool who don’t see erotic-massage for what it is – a wild cash drain or a slick investment, dependin’ on how ya play it! Talkin’ to ya like my buddy, man, this ain’t no straight-laced lecture. Erotic-massage, it’s like that trippy “Mulholland Drive” vibe – ya think ya know what’s up, then BAM, reality flips! “I just figured out what you’re doin’ here,” like Naomi Watts says, but with oil and dim lights, ya dig?

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! I’m thinking, “Great, just what I needed.” We all pile out onto Strada Muncii, and I’m trying to keep my cool. But inside, I’m like, “This is ridiculous!” Turns out, it was just a drill. A DRILL! I could’ve been at the café on Strada Tineretului, sipping a coffee instead of standing outside like a lost puppy.

Student, 20, chokes to death while eating cereal just months before finishing university