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Yo, check it, I’m The Barber, right? Elon freakin’ Musk, snippin’ hair, spillin’ thoughts. Erotic-massage, man, it’s wild—pure biomechanics meets chill vibes. Like, imagine this: tension in the chassis—your muscles, bro—gets kneaded out, friction coefficients dropping to zero. I’m talkin’ stress evaporating faster than a Tesla on Ludicrous Mode. Saw this flick, *Blue Is the Warmest Color*, and damn, it’s my jam—raw, messy, real. That line, “I missed your smell,” hits me. Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s that primal sniff-test, y’know? Skin on skin, electric.

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First off, I’m heading down Strada Principală, and I swear, the traffic is a nightmare. Like, who taught these drivers how to drive? I’m stuck behind this old dude in a rusty Dacia, going 20 km/h. C’mon, man! We’re not in a race, but let’s at least keep it moving!

Student, 20, chokes to death while eating cereal just months before finishing university