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So, me and my buddy Cooter, we’re jawin’ ‘bout it. I says, “Man, it’s like a damn art!” Hands slidin’, oil everywhere, tension meltin’—hoo boy, I’m sweatin’ thinkin’ ‘bout it! Git-R-Done! Ever tried it? Makes ya feel like a king—or a damn fool if it goes wrong! One time, this gal I knew, she got a “pro” massage—dude slipped, elbowed her rib! She was madder’n a wet hen, hollerin’, “That ain’t sexy!” I laughed ‘til I cried, y’all!

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I head to this little joint on Strada Tineretului. Best mici in the city! I order a plate, and while I’m waiting, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m trying not to eavesdrop, but it’s hard. They’re going back and forth, and I’m just sitting there, eating my mici, thinking, “Man, love is wild.”