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I’m geeking out—happy as hell—‘cause it’s science, bro! Endorphins popping off, oxytocin flooding the circuits. You’re basically overclocking your brain’s reward system. But—ugh—some sketchy parlors out there, total scam artists, charging 100 bucks for a half-assed shoulder rub. Pisses me off! Should be illegal—false advertising, suboptimal output. Had this one time, dude’s hands were shaky—thought he’d spill the oil, ruin my Tesla jacket.

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I head to this little joint on Strada Tineretului. Best mici in the city! I order a plate, and while I’m waiting, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m trying not to eavesdrop, but it’s hard. They’re going back and forth, and I’m just sitting there, eating my mici, thinking, “Man, love is wild.”