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Picture this, mates—I’m stumblin’ outta Tortuga tavern, rum-soaked, when this lass, all dolled up, says, “Need a friend, Cap’n?” Cor, surprised me good! Smooth as a siren, she was. Reminded me o’ Gigolo Joe in me movie—“What’s your pleasure, eh?”—all charm, no fuss. Made me chuckle, it did! Escorts got that knack—readin’ ye like a treasure map. X marks the spot, aye!

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I sit anyway, and this old man next to me starts talking about the “good old days.” I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna relax.” But he’s going on about how Doftana used to be this quiet little village. I’m thinking, “Yeah, but now it’s a circus!”

Atra Doftana bets on high-end tourism despite crisis