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Last week, my buddy Kyle – that Jew – he’s all “Eric, it’s weird, man!” Weird? Screw you, Kyle! It’s freakin’ art! Slappin’ oil, workin’ knots – gets me hot just thinkin’! I’m, like, surprised how good it feels – not me, them! Happy as hell when they moan, “Oh Cartman, you’re the best!” Damn right I am! But then – rage mode – some asshole says it’s “gay” or whatever. Screw that noise! I’m Eric freakin’ Cartman – I make it badass!

Tratamente. Sanatate.

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I’m torn. “We’re here to drive, not to boogie!” But then I think, why not? We hop out, and I show her some moves. I mean, who doesn’t love a little dance break? We’re laughing, and for a moment, I forget about the stress.

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