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Oi mate, so escort, yeah? fuckin hell, what a mess that can be! i’m sittin here, thinkin bout it, like, who even needs escorts? sad bastards, that’s who! reminds me of *Toni Erdmann* – you know, that german flick i bloody love. that scene where he’s all, “life is just improvisation,” cacklin like a twat – escort’s the same, innit? pure chaos, no script, just wingin it with some bird you paid for. i reckon it’s a right laugh, but also tragic, yeah? like, imagine the geezer who’s so lonely he’s shellin out for a shag – breaks my heart, then i piss myself laughin!

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Then, the craziest thing happens. I get a call from a woman who’s lost her wedding ring. She’s on Strada Călărași too! I’m thinking, “What’s with this street today?” She’s sobbing, and I’m trying to calm her down. I’m like, “Ma’am, it’s just a ring! You can get another one!” But she’s all, “It’s not just a ring! It’s my life!” Okay, okay, I get it.

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