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So, I’m fuming, right? I chase after the pigeon, but it’s like a scene from a cartoon. I’m running around, flailing my arms, and people are staring. I can’t even. Finally, I give up and plop back down on the bench. I’m just sitting there, contemplating life, when I see this cute dog. I mean, it’s adorable! I’m thinking, “Maybe I should get a dog.” But then I remember I can barely take care of myself.

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