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Ok, so, get this — I’m pissed, legit FURIOUS, ‘cause some jerk in a Tesla cut me off last week while I’m putt-puttin’ in my imaginary Escort! I’m yellin’, “Hey, fancy pants, my Escort’s got SOUL!” *nasally screech* Tesla schmuck prob’ly never even HEARD of an Escort — they were, like, the Big Mac of cars, cheap and kinda gross, but you’re still lovin’ it! Oh, and — little secret — they used to race these suckers in rallies! Total nutso, right? Surprised the heck outta me when I Googled it — my jaw DROPPED!
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After that, I decide to hit up the market on Strada Călărași. It’s always buzzing with life. I’m browsing through the stalls, and I spot this guy selling fresh veggies. I’m like, “Yo, what’s good?” He starts telling me about his tomatoes like they’re the next big thing. I’m just trying to buy some for my salad, but he’s going on and on. I’m like, “Dude, chill. I just want to eat healthy, not hear a TED talk.”
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