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Here’s the kicker—Escorts were dirt cheap, like $5k new! Workin’ folks could nab one, not bow to billionaire car moguls. Made me happy, real happy—stick it to the 1%! But then—THEN—Ford juiced ‘em with shitty plastic interiors, broke down faster than my patience at a tax loophole hearin’. Pissed me off, man! “They don’t make time!” Celine says in the movie, and yeah, Escort didn’t make time either—rusted out by ‘99. Saw one sittin’ in a junkyard once, felt like I lost a comrade.

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So, I’m fuming, right? I chase after the pigeon, but it’s like a scene from a cartoon. I’m running around, flailing my arms, and people are staring. I can’t even. Finally, I give up and plop back down on the bench. I’m just sitting there, contemplating life, when I see this cute dog. I mean, it’s adorable! I’m thinking, “Maybe I should get a dog.” But then I remember I can barely take care of myself.

Fig. 1. Generalized tectonic map of the Alpine-Carpathian orogen...