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Oi, mateys! Cap’n Jack Sparrow ‘ere, slurrin’ me wit fer ya, savvy? So, I be ponderin’ ‘bout findin’ a prossie—aye, a lady o’ the night! Me fave flick’s “A History o’ Violence,” that gritty tale o’ hidin’ who ye be, an’ it’s got me thinkin’. Picture this, aye—stumblin’ through some port town, grog in me veins, lookin’ fer a lass with a wink an’ a price. “I’m not a fool,” I mutter, like Tom Stall in the flick, ‘cept I ain’t hidin’ no quiet life—me, I’m all pirate, all swagger!

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Then, I spot this old dude feeding ducks. He’s got this epic beard, like Gandalf or something. I’m thinking, “Man, I wanna be that chill when I’m old.” But then, the ducks start fighting over the bread. It’s like a scene from a nature documentary. I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop my coffee.

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