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Escorts tho, they’re, like, pros at reading people. “We don’t know what we don’t know”—another Yi Yi gem. They prolly see stuff we miss, like, secret desires or whatever. I bet some are, like, therapists with extra steps—LOL, imagine that! One time, I read this shady forum post—typo city, btw—some escort said she’d hide cash in her bra ‘cause clients would “forget” to tip. Smart, right? Little known fact: some escorts in the 90s used pagers—PAGERS, y’all—like, so retro, I can’t even!

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Then, I spot this old dude feeding ducks. He’s got this epic beard, like Gandalf or something. I’m thinking, “Man, I wanna be that chill when I’m old.” But then, the ducks start fighting over the bread. It’s like a scene from a nature documentary. I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop my coffee.

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