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My precious! Sexual-massage, oh yesss, filthy hands kneading flesh, ain’t it grand? Me, Gollum, raspy and sly, I sees it—oily rubs, sneaky touches, “We tells ourselves stories,” like in *Stories We Tell*, to feel less dirty, heh! Been around ages, them ancients—Greeks, Romans—rubbing bods for "healing," wink wink. Makes me cackle, it does! Precious skin all slippery, folk pay big coin for it now—hundreds, pfft, outrageous!

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. You know, the one near Strada Libertății? It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playin’ soccer, and they’re kickin’ the ball all over the place. One of ’em nails me right in the shin. I’m like, “Ouch! What’s this, a soccer match or a war zone?” They just laugh and keep playin’. Kids these days, man.