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One time, mate o’ mine, he brags—got three dates, same night! Total legend, I thought—til he says one brought her mum! Wot?! Mum’s sittin’ there, judgin’ his winkie jokes! Laughed me head off, nearly choked on me fish. Sex-dating’s a circus, swear it—clowns, freaks, an’ all. “The children must confess!”—like in the movie, but nah, here it’s “confess yer kinks, quick!”

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But then, just as I’m about to leave, I hear this commotion. A bunch of folks are gathered around, and I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, there’s a street performer doin’ some wild tricks. He’s jugglin’ fire and all that jazz. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna set yourself on fire!” But he’s just smilin’ and showin’ off. I can’t help but cheer him on. It’s like the whole city’s come alive.