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Sex-datin’s messy, y’all. I seen it—dude comes in, buys lube, tells me he met this chick online. Two hours later, he’s back, madder’n a wet hen, sayin’ she ghosted him! Made me so dang mad—why ya toyin’ with folks like that? Reminds me of Dogville, when they turn on Grace, all fake smiles ‘til the knives come out. “You think you’re better’n us?”—that’s the vibe I get from them catfishers out there. Sneaky lil’ bastards.

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Then, the unexpected happens. My team scores! The place erupts. I’m high-fiving everyone. It’s pure joy. But wait, the ref calls it offside. Nooooo! My heart sinks.