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We looooves a laugh, though! Mate o’ mine, big lad, swears by them apps. “Gollum, it’s bangin’!” he says, braggin’ ‘bout shaggin’ three birds a week. Bollocks, I reckon—prolly wankin’ to pixels. Reminds me o’ Tyrone, “We got a winner!”—nah, mate, you’re losin’. Me, I’d rather cobble shoes than swipe for a snog. Apps promise heaven, deliver hell—sick o’ seein’ “DTF?” pop up. We hates it! All rushin’ for a quickie, no soul, no nothin’.

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Finally, I make my way back to my stand, and guess what? The parade is over, and I’m back in business! I start pouring kvas like a madman. People are loving it, and I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, I see that kid again. He’s back, and this time he’s got his whole family with him. They all want kvas!

Hesburger opens drive-in restaurant in Romania