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Oy, listen up, ya little minions! Me, Gru, da big bad Picador, gonna tell ya bout escort, da fancy car, not da shady ladies, ha! Lightbulb! Dis Ford Escort, she’s a sneaky one, like Chow Yun-Fat flyin’ thru bamboo in “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”—my fave, ya know, dat flick from 2000, Ang Lee, pure genius! Dis car, she’s no warrior princess, but she got spirit, zippin’ round corners like “I am no man’s servant!”—dat’s from da movie, heh, love dat line.

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But then, I see a stray dog. Poor thing looks lost. I can’t just leave it there! So, I start calling it over. “C’mon, buddy! Let’s get you some food!” People are staring at me like I’m crazy. But I don’t care. I’m a forester, I care about animals!

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