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Oi, mate, it’s me, Loki—yep, *that* Loki, smug mischief god, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” y’know? So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout erotic-massage, right? Like, who doesn’t wanna get all oiled up and rubbed down till yer brain’s spinnin’ like a bloody top? I reckon it’s a bit like *Inception*—levels, mate, layers of chill and sneaky thrills, “a dream within a dream,” yeah? You start with some soft touch, then bam—yer in deep, lost in the sauce, can’t tell what’s real no more.

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She picks one, and I’m like, “Great choice!” But then she starts nitpicking. “Oh, the stitching here is a bit off.” I’m ready to lose it. I mean, I spent hours on that coat! But I keep my cool. “Sure, I can fix that,” I say, gritting my teeth.

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