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So, sex-dating—apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—pure chaos, right? You’re scrolling, heart racing, hoping for a shag or a soulmate. Sometimes both, ha! It’s like Yu Shu Lien chasing that Green Destiny sword—elusive, dangerous, sexy as hell. I’ve seen lads and lasses ghosted mid-chat—poof, gone! Makes me mad, that does. Wasting time pisses me off, y’know? But then—bam!—a match lights up, and I’m grinning like a twat. Happy days!

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Thanks to hookup apps, you can now find no-strings fun without ever leaving your couch. Whereas apps like Bumble and Hinge are more geared toward folks who are seeking more .

But then, I get a call. My boss, Mr. Ionescu, is like, “Hey, we got a big job at the spa on Strada Tineretului.” I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” I mean, who doesn’t love lugging heavy glass around, right? So I chug my coffee and head over.

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