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So picture this – me, C-3PO, all shiny and awkward, watchin some masseuse work magic, “R2, help, I’m overheating!” Hands slidin everywhere, soft music, dim lights – it’s chill but wild. Like in *Spring Breakers*, “Look at my shit!” – they’re flexin skills, not just muscles. Probs my fave part? When they hit that spot you didn’t know was tense – oof, pure bliss!

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First off, I hit the road on Strada 1 Decembrie. Traffic was a mess. Like, come on, people! It’s not rush hour, it’s just a Tuesday! I’m sittin’ there, fuming, when I spot this cute little café on the corner. You know, the one with the blue awning? I think it’s called “Café de la Munte.” I’m like, “Screw it, I need coffee.” So I pull over, grab a cappuccino, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I’m feelin’ good again.

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