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So, check this—dude I know, yeah, met this bird on Tinder. Thought it’s just a quickie, bam, done. Nah, she’s clingy as fuck, texts him nonstop. Had me laughin—mate, you’re screwed! Growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” He didn’t see the trap comin. Apps like that? They’re a bloody jungle. Fun fact—heard some bloke invented Tinder swipin in 2012, got no credit. Poor bastard, eh? Pisses me off—genius idea, no glory.

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, tryin’ to calm down. Then I see this old lady, bless her heart, trying to cross the street. Strada Calea Moldovei, I think? Anyway, cars are zooming by like it’s the Indy 500. I’m like, “Someone help her!” But nah, everyone’s too busy honking and yelling. I jump up, rush over, and help her. She’s all smiles, and I’m feelin’ like a hero.

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